


Maybe It Was Worth It

by monster_without_a_name



Series: trans!neil [1]
Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, but if you read all for the game youll be fine, i had so much trouble with the name, surgery is mentioned, this was really self indulgent tbh, transgender character, transgender neil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:49:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6439945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monster_without_a_name/pseuds/monster_without_a_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short drabble re-imagining parts of the book with trans!Neil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe It Was Worth It

His mother was never the most progressive parent but when Neil comes out as transgender she’s eager to accept him. “They’ll be looking for a mother and a daughter,” she says, “not a mother and son.” His mother, who has always stitched them up after every run in with Neil’s father- not trusting doctors- of course, elects to try top surgery herself. Surgery is a lot different than stitching up wounds. It’s messy and painful and Neil is left with more awful scars and missing nipples, no one is going to see what’s under my shirt anyway, Neil reasons with himself. When he gets his next ID and it says “Steven” and it says “male,” messy scars are the last thing he is thinking about.  
_

When Neil shows his scars to Andrew he barely glances at his mess of a chest, appraising his scars all with the same disinterested expression before settling on the raised skin from a hot iron. “These are not injuries from a life on the run.”  
_  
“I hate every single inch of you,” Andrew says when they are in Columbia one night, “doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” He speaks German so Kevin won’t understand.  
Neil doesn’t know what to begin with but finally settles on, “There’s nothing to blow.”  
Andrews eyes narrow and Neil can see him connecting the dots, “you have a vagina.”  
It’s not a question but Neil nods anyway before he feels the need to add, “but I’m still a boy.”  
“Obviously.” Andrew mutters, rolling his eyes, “So I suppose instead I should say ‘I hate you but I’d still eat you out,’ is that it?”  
If Neil feels pleasant warmth settle through his body it’s only because he’s glad to have been accepted.  
_  
Andrew’s hands linger at the hem of Neil’s pants, “yes or no?”  
Neil pulls back from Andrew, “I’m sorry I’m not really comfortable with that part of my bod-”  
He’s cut off when Andrew clamps a hand over his mouth, “Don’t ever apologize for that.” He mutters darkly and Neil nods, stopping himself from apologizing again, “kissing is still alright, though?” Andrew asks and Neil responds by leaning forward.  
_  
“What’s your father’s name?” Andrew asks while they wait for their plane trip to begin and Neil doesn’t answer for a moment, surprised by the question.  
“Nathan.”  
“You don’t look like a Nathan,” Andrew says, considering Neil.  
“I wasn’t, I was Nathalie.”  
“You don’t look like a Nathalie either.” His certainty makes Neil grin for the whole take off.  
_

After Baltimore Neil is forcibly outed to the rest of the foxes by the FBI, who insist on calling him Nathalie- both Kevin and Neil flinch every time they do- but his friends and coach are quick to accept him. Perhaps Aaron takes a little more time to come around but a few well-meaning glares from Andrew and a couple hours of the silent treatment from Nicky is enough to get him to apologize. Neil catches Dan and Matt researching ‘transgender’ together later and they both blush and stutter that they didn’t want to accidentally say something offensive or wrong. Allison offers to pay for any surgery he might want, though he thinks he’s had enough people cutting into him for now it’s still a nice thought. The process of changing his legal name and gender is long and tedious and involves more appointments with a therapist than Neil ever wanted to have but the Foxes offer any kind of comfort they can. When he gets his new, legal ID and it says “Neil” and it says “male” he thinks maybe it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading hope you liked it! Come talk to me about the foxes and other stuff on tumblr on my personal: pleasgoddamnit or check out my art blog: monkey-not-mountain (If you wanted to give me prompts I'd probably love you forever)


End file.
